Spiritual Bypassing
What is Spiritual Bypassing? Here are some fictional examples that I made up to illustrate how spiritual practices and concepts can be misunderstood or used to avoid taking right action. Don’t worry nobody actually died, killed their cat or ended up on the streets:
Judith recently became vegan on her spiritual journey and decides her cat Snuggles should also be vegan. She feeds Snuggles vegetarian food even though he’s an obligate carnivore that enjoys murdering mice. Snuggles becomes sick on vegetables, malnourished and dies.
Ahmed prays every day for God to bring him money so he can pay rent, but he does not go out and get a job. He believes in miracles and that God will save him. He eventually loses his home and ends up on the streets then wails: “God’s abandoned me!”.
Samantha the yoga instructor has distain for people who are ‘not woke’. Anyone who thinks differently from her, she labels ‘toxic’ and attacks, belittles or avoids. She ends up scared, lonely, bitter and in-and-out of relationships.
John feels anxious and afraid so he travels to Rishikesh, India, to join an ashram. He has a brilliant technical, creative mind and could be an architect. He does not follow his talent because he hides in the ashram all his life and never confronts his fears.
Carrie recently learned Transcendental Meditation and is ‘blissed out’ after her practice. Every time a difficult situation arises (such as the need to leave her partner who is physically abusive) she avoids dealing with it and meditates. She is able to withstand the abuse because she can ‘check out’ of her body. Sonia’s husband throws her off the balcony and she now ‘blisses out’ in heaven.
Geff convinces his girlfriend that group sex will allow them to experience a feeling of ‘oneness.’ The true reason is - he’s insecure and feels he needs to sleep with more people to be ‘a real man’. Geff and his girlfriend get STD’s and split up.
Felicity is obsessed with Ester Hicks and the Law of Attraction, so much so, she believes that any negative emotions are bad and ‘out of the vortex’. Any time she feels negative emotion she distracts herself, pretends she’s ok, or suppresses the feelings. The stress is not released or transmuted and she gets a psychosomatic illness.
Ashok enjoys getting high on mantras all day, however the repeated high vibrations cause him to de-stress. He has underlying mental health issues and does not see a psychotherapist or get the correct help because he believes MANTRAS ARE ALL YOU NEED. He suffers a mental breakdown.
Jessica the artist feels jealous when here husband looks at other women. She suggests they go to the ‘Orgy Dome’ at Burning Man so she can get over her possessiveness and feel compersion which is the opposite of jealousy. Jessica paints the hyper-arousal she experienced in The Dome (due to the adrenaline) however a week later suffers multiple panic attacks.
Grace believes in the power of love, enjoys peace and is conflict avoidant. Her teenage son has dropped out of college is taking drugs and getting into fights. She spoiled him, never disciplined him or set any boundaries. She still kisses him on his head and cuddles him even though he pushes her away and is verbally abusive.
Wally is gay however he does not want to be. He becomes a Priest because he believes that if he gives his life to Christ it will stop his homosexual desires. His repressed sexuality erupts after 20 years and he develops pedophilia.
Margaret does not go to the doctor when she feels a lump on her breast. She believes she can cure it herself through the power of her mind and herbs. She makes herself smoothies every day and sits cross legged trying to meditate. She dies.
So what’s the moral of the story? Spirituality is common sense. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is paying the bills, getting the groceries, going to the doctor, finding a job, embracing negative emotions and in some cases even getting divorced or taking the meds! Lets expand out idea of what spirituality is.