Bringing Sexy Back To Spirituality

Can you be spiritual and sexy? Or is that not allowed! Let’s open up that convo. As a former sex symbol and heart-throb I surrender myself to the fire of this discussion 🔥 no burning me at the stake though 🙏

When I was transitioning from the film and fashion industry (after an awakening) into the world of therapy and meditation I noticed an internal pressure to change my appearance. Those bikini pics on the internet need to come down, how inappropriate, I temporarily thought. When people ‘Googled’ my name, the first thing that came up was ‘hot’ not ‘spiritual’. When I posted pics of the meditation studios I was working in fans got bored and yawned. Some were supportive however one got very angry and wrote in caps ‘STOP ALL THAT STUPID MEDITATION STUFF, GO BACK INTO FILM, GET MARRIED’. You have to laugh.

Transitioning is tough, because even though you change, the public’s perceptions of you can take time to catch up. I was floating around out of my body and didn’t think I was a human, let alone a ‘hot female’. I got totally obliterated in a process that took over 10 years to integrate! Yeah, be careful what you wish for. Once IT gets you, you don’t have a choice, you can go where IT wants, gracefully…or kicking and screaming. Moral of the story, just surrender.

The idea of merging my past with what I was currently doing seemed challenging and confusing. I bought frumpy, grandma clothes and proceeded to guide groups in meditation studios, help people in Malibu rehabs and host private therapy sessions. Wearing clothes I didn’t like felt really weird and robotic, so eventually I stopped and the cat-print came back out.

My guru (Svāmī Brahmānanda Sarasvatī) at the time was a lifetime celibate and maybe at a subconscious level I thought I needed to suppress my sexiness. It wasn’t about me anymore so I didn’t want undue attention. This did not work because the universe wants everyone to be the way it designed them, and if you don’t live your design it gets uncomfortable; that’s natures way of telling you politely - what you are doing is slowing down your evolution.

When you realize the Self as beyond the body, and become firmly established in the witness, all activity and preferences of the personality are directly controlled by divine intelligence not the mind. This intelligence that destroyed my acting career, marriage and moved me to California also wanted me to remain sexy and into fashion. Ok, I give up; I’m not in charge.

This divine intelligence moves though the hands of temple sculptors, and sensual Goddesses are born into stone and clay. Large bosomed, curvaceous, and mesmerizing, they also radiate stillness. Some are androgynous (with male and female genitals); others half animal. They transmit the message: everything is consciousness, everything is divine, and everything is a gateway into stillness. Why? Because you are everything.

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